Living life fully. We are really trying.
So in order to lead a full life, it’s time we do it just as we are. And that, is that.
We aren’t a nice, neat little group. We are messy, emotional, dramatic, INTENSE, absent minded, totally disciplined, totally UNdisciplined, super smart, super clueless, competitive, nosy, adventurous, deeply loving, short tempered, ridiculously creative, boring, loud, introverted, extroverted, all of this and oh so much more. We are family. (CUE THE SONG!!!) We are all so different and we are all so alike. We just are.
I have spent so much of my life looking around the corner, wondering what is next. Is this it? Is there more? I really need to fix myself. Then, I really need to fix my spouse. Then come kids, let’s fix them too! It’s my job, I’m a parent! We really need to become better people. Should. Should. Should. Shouldn’t. Shouldn’t. Shouldn’t.
But listen, its not going to happen. It’s taken me approx 38 and something years of thinking I need to figure out how to be a different Lisa and avoiding what is already there. So now, I stop and say,breathe.
Stay with it, open up to it.
We are who we are. And that is not an excuse OR a compromise! It’s saying thank you God for making us. We are sorry for always feeling like you should have done a better job or maybe you made some mistakes. And I think He just shakes his head and says, “when will you realize what you have, what you’ve been given? Of COURSE you look nothing like this person or that, THAT’S NOT WHO YOU ARE.”
Gulp. I hear you God. I forget that stuff a lot. (whatever you look like- man on throne- don’t think so. earthworm, probably not. a presence my human mind will never fully understand, most likely. my Creator, yes)
Because I see all those families that look like they’ve got it all together. Their faith that never changes or wavers. Their tempers that never flare. The details they never forget. Their kids that don’t roll around on the ground during church. You know, good families. Well, I’m tired of trying to be you. Make that- exhausted. It just will never happen. Jen Hatmaker recently wrote a post called Hope for Spicy Families. I loved it. But truth is, her spicy family looked waaaaaaay more fun than mine. And there went the mind, racing down the track to compare again. So, we aren’t exactly a spicy family, we aren’t a perfect family, we just are us. Living a busy, ordinary, full life. A life that awaits us to embrace each moment of it and stop waiting for the next one.
What if we all started here? Just looking around us and seeing the people we love, just as they are. Not as a project or as perfect. Just people. And our families, well. they are our people! And mine, well, I LOVE my people! And, in all our ordinariness, we can live fully. We can be the people we were created to be. Not saying that we settle for living in our struggles or our weakness. Saying that we look at those things that are hard for us, or that we fall prey to, or keep us from growing. We do look at those things, but we let them teach us- not who we ought to be or wish to be. But we look at our whole, real selves, and let this life teach us to live fully.
Here I, WE, go. Wish us luck.