Reconstructing Marriage- On Our 16th Anniversary

I originally made this a facebook status update and then decided, well, that seemed stupid. But I love what Paulo Coehlo says in this interview about marriage- the deconstruction and reconstruction.

So on this 16th wedding anniversary, I say thanks. Thanks to Drew who is committed to never moving but open to continual reconstruction.

MR. COELHO: Yes, of course. Eros is very important to me.
MS. TIPPETT: Yes, yes.
MR. COELHO: I’ve been married for 34 years with the same woman, but is she the same woman? I don’t think so.
MS. TIPPETT: [laughs] Right.
MR. COELHO: I think that she changed a lot during this, uh, 34 years. And when people ask me how did you manage to get married with the same woman for so long, I answer that they are wrong. She is not the girl that I met back in 1979.
MS. TIPPETT: Yeah.
MR. COELHO: She changed a lot. So did I. You can imagine in 1982, I was dreaming about being a writer, uh, in 1979, sorry. And I was a person who was totally frustrated. And she had her dreams. And throughout all these years, our marriage went through many moments of destruction, so to say.
MS. TIPPETT: Yeah.
MR. COELHO: But not destruction in a bad way. For example, just like you build a house, and then you say this house does not fit me anymore. So, let’s reorganize, but let’s continue to live here. We don’t need to move. Because I love you, and you love me, so let’s reconstruct this house. So, we’ve been through many ordeals, many, many, many ordeals, but to survive it, why? Because of this, what that you call it, cheesy word — love [laughs].

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One thought on “Reconstructing Marriage- On Our 16th Anniversary

  1. I also loved this interview, and this particular passage. I have shared it with numerous people. Thanks for putting it out there. I love you guys and how you’ve committed to the relationship and journey with each other. Nancy

    Like

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