I mean, it was real when Drew started the move and got his rental apartment in Chicago. And it’s going to get even more real when he leaves Sunday and starts his new job Monday. So, lots of getting real is happening.
But there is something about having strangers walk through your house, imagining themselves living here instead of you. Putting their dishes in the cabinets and comforters on the beds. Just the thought of it, that pulls pretty hard at your roots. I couldn’t sleep last night just thinking about our first showing this morning.
I want to be real and I will be honest, this house has always been a mixed bag for me.
When we left our old neighborhood for this one, I was pretty torn up on the inside. Part of me was so excited about having things like – Off street parking! A garage! A mudroom! A laundry room on the main floor! There was no doubt we would have more space to enjoy and settle into. But I felt like we were buying into the American Dream and throwing ourselves into suburbia where my kids would lose all sense of the reality of the world around them. It seemed more like we were taking a step back rather than forward.
It felt like, hmmmm, just not me.
And in many ways that has continued to be true. That tension has never left. BUT, in the mean time, we’ve had a very fun five years in a very fun house. The fun is the space we had to welcome so many friends and family. The fun is in the people that have been IN our place. So, today as I jogged around the neighborhood while a family looked at our house, I started thinking of all the good that happened in this space. We’ve made some pretty amazing memories. I have to give much credit to my extroverted husband who loves to have gatherings and was always inviting people over (many times when I just wanted to hide and read a book on my own-I’m glad he keeps me from the hermit lifestyle.) Traditions too, lots of traditions!
No matter how I felt on the inside, I’ve really enjoyed our home. That is the truth.
These are some of the moments I loved….
Having our youth group pile into our living room and spread out all over our furniture on Wednesday nights. The taffy that was made in our kitchen that almost took over the whole place..
The Christmas parties with our Sunday school class that would give us permission to eat, drink and be merry.
Super bowl parties with friends from all our different pockets of life and their kids running all over the place.
Many holiday dinners with family and friends around our ever expanding dining room table.
Hosting Abbey’s Odyssey of the Mind team and the creativity that would go on in our basement- hearing those nails pounding and saws working away.
Pool, oh the pool. What a great time we have had with birthday parties, World Cup parties, lazy summer evenings, late night swims, friends stopping in for a iced coffee on the patio. Playing games, eating food, drinking margaritas, and catching up on life while the kids splashed and played.
Movies nights and tents in the living room. Lots of room to play Just Dance and laugh at each other’s uncoordinated attempts to move and groove.
Hosting friends and family from around the country, having lots of space for them to stay and spend time with us.
If you have read my blog at all, I think I’ve been honest about all the hard stuff too. There have been many tears shed here, arguments had, doors slammed, desperate prayers in my bed at night, ceilings that have had to be redone because of that pesky shower leak, broken hearts, and deep pain. It wasn’t all pretty. But it was here and it was ours and I am grateful.
AND, we are not done yet! We’ve got school to finish and more memories to be made. There WILL be more pool parties (oh summer, please hurry) and birthdays to celebrate. We know it will end, but we will make the most of the time we have left.
Tension or no tension, this has been home.
I’m really gonna miss it.
And mostly, I’m gonna miss all of YOU in it.
Good, good times.