Of course I can see every way you are trying to seep through the cracks of my life.

The violence in Chicago.

The horrific mass murder in a gay bar.

The way I reel from the silence of other Christians.

The anticipation of a vacation in countries that have been threatened by terror.

A week at the house without Drew.

Having to say goodbye to my sister once again.

The reaction to the transgender world and to friends we love.

The loneliness my child feels to never fitting in.

Are my kids ok?

Will they ever like each other?

What if?

What if?

What if?

You truly are the most evil and destructive F word of all.

Oh how I wish I had some intriguing stories to tell you.  I’d love to  share  about the way I’ve learned to overcome this anxiety that comes with the reality of hate and evil in life. I wish I had answers for those of us who don’t know what to do with faith in a world and a church that seem so heartless. I wish I could assure my kids that nothing bad will ever happen.

But, I don’t and I can’t.

I can tell you that I love Chicago and the community we live in.

I will always accept the LGBTQ community without any “Buts….”

I can tell you that I look forward to getting out of my American comfort zone.

I can tell you how much I love having the King size bed to myself for a week.

I can tell you that a week with my sister fills my heart with joy.

I’m thrilled to see my children welcome their friends into our home.

I wish you knew how much I appreciate each good friend my kids have ever made.

SO- Fear. Get off my back.

I see you and I feel you. I hear you and I taste you in every word that I read.

But I will not let you win here, not now and not ever.

You may rule the hour, but you will never, ever change my heart.


And love is love is love is love is love…