For way too many years, I believed one thing firmly.
The purpose of this life is to get as many people as humanly possible to believe the exact same thing as me.
Repeat after me- Dear God…
If only I could get them to pray that prayer, their entire existence would not be in vain. Their life wouldn’t end in eternal suffering. They would finally be truly happy.
But the longer I’ve lived and the more people I’ve met, this has continued to unfold, unravel and totally dissolve.
It stopped working.
I’ve tried to avoid faith posts here for awhile. I had written about it so much, I was boring myself. I found myself reaching to have the right words to give all of you everything I’ve learned on how to walk this spiritual journey, as if maybe I had the answers you needed. There was that same desire to show you that I had the right way. Turns out, in some ways I was doing the same thing, it was just a different story.
I think that that’s been the hardest to let go of. This idea that we should all eventually end up in the same space, walking the same path and in complete agreement on all the big things.
As I sat in my most favorite thinking spot this evening, my front porch, talking to Drew about the latest thing I don’t agree with someone on, I started to sit up straighter and the thoughts came fast.
Somehow, this simple idea made even more sense. We can’t agree on much in this world of ours. We have lived such different lives.
We were CREATED to be different.
Different races, different genders, different ages, different family backgrounds, different cultures, different religions, different mental capacities, different gifts and talents, different everything.
It’s who we are as a human race, totally and completely unique beings.
Oh the beauty!!
And while there are some very real and true things that we all find in our lives, there is so much that is special to us, those gifts of DNA, time and space.
So why can’t we settle into this idea that we don’t need to spend our lives becoming the same? So much suffering (generation after generation after generation) because we don’t agree with the other.
It’s not a matter of life being a free -for- all or living without accountability. Or simply everyone being a free thinker. But rather, an authentic living into the people we were created to be.
I’m letting these thoughts sink deeply.
I do know that I’ve let go of that one prayer.
I also know I’ve let go of that one way of seeing God.
I know I’ve let go of so many things I still continue to find myself automatically reaching for.
But this evening I’m going to settle for letting go of the need for same and I’m going to be with the stories of differences.
Instead of – Here’s what I need to teach you.
My desire is to be at peace with the person I was made to be.
AND I want to learn to ask-
What can I learn from you?
With mutual love and respect for all of creation.