My Thank You Tour

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I slipped my life jacket on. It was late afternoon and the warm sun was still there to hold me. No kid needed me. My parents had left several days before to get back to their home. With zero responsibilies calling my name, I waded through the shallow water to the jet ski. Unhooking it from the anchored buoy, I felt a jolt of internal joy as I tipped it towards myself and climbed on. Did my aunt say these jet skis were 20 years old? Forever in my uncle’s repair, they showed up on Black Lake for every family reunion.

Straddling the machine with a red vinyl seat (it happened to be the one that worked the best this year.) I started it up and began a slow glide towards the deep. A sharp right once I was far enough away from the dock and then my thumb presses confidently into the gas. The acceleration brings an immediate rush of warm air to my face. There is no greeting better from Mother Earth than I could ever ask for. Water, sun, air, and the smell of pines. For me this was as close to heaven on earth as I could ever ask for. Slipping along the lake I feel so free. I’m at home, grounded.

I am a child.
I am a teenager.
I am a young adult.
I am newly married.
I am holding my infant daughter.
I’m here with my children who laugh and play so freely.
I’m here with my own teenagers.
I’m just here.

This place where I am heading is my favorite spot on earth. Trees along the shoreline have fallen and mark the exact area where I want to be. It feels like a hidden treasure I’m discovering once again. Heading towards the logs that float in a tangled mess upon the water, I release the gas and slow to a stop. I’m here to do exact same thing I’ve done a million times. Face up and eyes closed, I soak it all in. Freedom is the only word that feels close to describing this moment. I pretend I am 18 and have no cares in the world, a lifetime still ahead of me. A lifetime for all of us. My entire body says thank you.

This is my thank you tour.
It’s the time of life where I know that nothing is here to stay. I can’t pretend anymore. I must say goodbye, just in case. It’s not fear, it’s gratitude. Gratitude for all I’ve had.

Thank you to the clouds, to the water and to that line of trees that has fallen along the shoreline. Thank you to the dark and mysterious center at the middle of the lake. Thank you to the warm shallow water that I spent my childhood in. Thank you to the sweet smell of pine trees that has always brought me such peace. Thank you to the jet ski that was willing to start up and give me this ride. Thank you to the sun that always was there to greet me, whether I could see it or not.

Place of my childhood and adulthood, nowhere else on earth I could say that about.

Everytime I come to the four way stop where I get to choose left towards this lake and cottage or straight to the graves of my grandparents, I feel gratitude. It’s all here.

The memories and the love.
This place that has marked the timeline of my life.